Asking for what you really want takes courage
Clarity is important: What do I really wantkeeping the playing field wide open Did I receive what I asked for?
Letting go of how
Asking and receiving the easy way
On my current life journey I keep exploring this possibility that anything is possible. There are moments when I feel frustration or despair because I find myself in intense uncomfortable situations. During other moments I am filled with awe because something I thought intellectually impossible happened. These moments of surprise and awe, when the seemingly impossible is happening, keep me going.
Here are some of my discoveries along this path:
Asking for what you really want takes courage
I learned that in order to find out what is possible I have to ask for what I really want. If I only ask for what I believe is possible I am not fully true to myself and this introduces interferences in the energy flow.
It takes courage to ask for what I really want. What if I don’t receive what I ask for? I used to think that would mean the end to ever receiving what I asked for. However I discovered that there is a simple answer: refine your request. Nothing is written in stone so to speak. Intentions and creations can be adjusted.
The other concern that used to linger in my space was: Careful what you ask for. Here too I found that I can always adjust my creation. One thing I asked for is to overcome my fear of money. The result was that I received a lot of opportunities to be with fear around money. It took me a while to really understand what I was doing. Instead of giving up I adjusted my request. I stopped focusing on the fear and asked for what I really wanted: long-lasting, dependable, plentiful currency flow in easy delightful ways. I added the easy, delightful way part to the request because I had heard stories where people received a lot of money but only through personal hardship. I wanted to make clear that I wanted to create this currency flow through ease and delight.
After 18 years away from horses I suddenly felt drawn to connect, communicate and learn from them. My intellect stepped in. I thought I should be physically with horses or even have one myself. But that felt overwhelming. The result, I started beating myself up about it.
I didn’t know how to express this deep yearning I felt in my heart. I finally moved the intellect to the side and listened to my heart. Here I found energies of living words such as connection, communication, co-creation, equal and joyous partnership, that captured the deep yearning.
This energetic foundation created clarity and certainty in my space. It provided me with reference points I could hold without needing to know details. While holding this energetic platform, opportunities for activities showed up: attending a coaching with horses workshop, reading books that explore horse communication through energy, watching youtubes of some teachers that seemed aligned with what I was looking for, living on a horse farm for half a year, learning about Equine Assisted Learning and doing it myself. The different opportunities showed up when I was ready for the experience. Each allowed me to discover and hone abilities around horses I didn’t know I had.
I have used the living words in many other situations to express what I felt deep inside me and allowed that energetic platform to draw opportunities to me.
Keeping the playing field wide open
The advantage of these energetic platforms is that I have a focus and at the same time can leave the field wide open for opportunities. I kind of step back and observe what shows up in front of me. I let my desire lead me here. When opportunities show up I “run” them through my heart to feel how aligned they are. From here I make a choice: yes, no or refinement of the opportunity.
Of course I also have a choice to express my desire more specific. If I come across something like a workshop or gathering and I feel a strong reaction in my heart to attend then I set a clear intention to attend this event: I intend to take a coaching with horses workshop to explore the human-horse relationship. Even more specific I intend to participate in the coaching with horses workshop in May with Kathy Pike.
I only choose to be that specific if it deeply resonates in my heart. Sometimes when a desire feels vast and a little bit overwhelming, my intellect is impatient and tries to latch onto something specific. Once I realize what is going on, I stop myself, breathe for a moment and go back to observing the playing field in front of me.
Too focused on a specific outcome
I wanted to learn how to communicate with animals, plants and minerals. My intellect had latched onto one outcome: telepathic communication like the animal communicators seem to do. For years I kept asking for animal communication over and over and at times I got frustrated and started beating myself up.
What I overlooked was that in my own way I had started to communicate with trees, understood communication through energy with horse on a much deeper level, and had experiences exchanging images and heart-felt vibrations with mountains. All of that I nearly missed to recognize because I was so focused on one outcome of my intention.
Outcomes are possible beyond what I can imagine
I was drawn to go to Egypt to anchor energy with the Magdalene Order. I participated in their preparation calls, got the travel information, saw myself and her having fun in Egypt and set an intention in motion together with my friend who also participated. In the end I couldn’t get the finances together to go physically on the trip.
What happened instead was that I traveled spiritually, kind of riding on the shoulder of my friend who went on the trip. During the duration of the trip I had several occasions where I felt deeply connected to the group. My friend told me that she and one of the leaders of the group felt my presence in a couple places where the group meditated. I never would have thought that I would participate in trip in this way. Interestingly, while part of me was traveling spiritually in Egypt, the physical part of me went on a parallel adventure to Colorado working with the Rocky Mountains and to Minneapolis to work on financial abundance.
Since then I experienced this form of participation during other trips. When my friend went to Hawaii to do some energy work I actually felt viscerally a part of me leaving to go with her.
Letting go of how
When I find the courage to express what I really want, my intellect immediately screams: HOW? I learned to move that question aside. When I stretch myself emotionally and mentally into a new adventure, the how question feels like lead, keeping me on the ground. I need to soar first, feel the energy of the living words in my heart and my whole body. From there most of the time I step back and observe what opportunities are showing up instead of trying to figure intellectually out how to proceed.
In Dec 2013 I left Iowa to find a new home. While I knew I wanted to live in the mountains, I had no clue geographically where that home would be or how I would even afford it. I had a strong sense that I needed to let go of most of my stuff, pack the rest into a trailer and drive to Minnesota to spend some time with a friend.
During the packing I received a pointer to Colorado and decided to fly from Minneapolis to Denver to find out if this is where I needed to live next. This trip turned into amazing work with the Rocky Mountains and the clarity that this wasn’t my next home. Back in Minnesota I kept sensing into the geographic location of my new home. The only place that kept floating around in my space was Asheville. I liked the idea because besides loving mountains I thrive when plant live have plenty of water to show saturated colors and Western North Carolina looked pretty green to me.
I still hadn’t a clue how all this could work out. I didn’t know North Carolina, had no connections and hardly any money. However, there was a strong sense that in the last week of Dec I would be stable. So while my intellect was in overdrive, trying to figure out the how, I took all the courage I could muster and trusted in the sense of stability at the end of the month.
While in Asheville, I learned that I needed to get into the car and just start driving around. My second trip in this fashion brought me to Mars Hill, NC. I loved that little town, its mountains and its energy. I didn’t want to leave. So on Christmas Eve I moved from Asheville into a hotel in Mars Hill. The problem was I couldn’t afford staying in hotels. On Dec 26 I stopped at a tourist center in Mars Hill to ask if they knew about temporary housing. Sandy, the lady in the tourist center was very kind and after some back and forth she remembered someone who could have something for me.
This is when the magic really became apparent. Sandy called Tom and told him what I was looking for. Tom said that I could have his house in a week. I nearly declined the offer because I needed something right now but I had nothing to lose and agreed to meet Tom. When he arrived he offered me a ride in his car to check out his house. During the drive he asked me where I was currently staying and I told him that I didn’t have anything for the night yet. He said that this was ridiculous and that I could stay in their house. Tom and his wife had moved to another town and where thinking of selling or renting the house. His son wasn’t due to arrive for a week and Tom said that if I could just leave for that one night I could stay immediately.
When we came to his house my jaw dropped. Two beautiful outside dogs greeted me. The house was built organically into the woods with a great view through big windows. It had eight bedrooms, two of which where in the basement temporarily rented to a family. I thought I was in a dream. We settled on a rent for the month that I could afford and that was nowhere close to what people ask for a vacation rental. What boggled my mind was that Tom would just trust me. When I told him about it he said that he could judge people easily and he trusted me.
To put the icing on the cake for this experience, I ended up staying in this house for over a year. It was an amazing experience. I learned that figuring things out is can be overrated. What really counts is trusting in your heart and letting go of the “how”.
Asking and receiving the easy way
I wished I would be in the habit of asking and receiving in the easy way I have observed on many occasions. I utter a desire without any attachment – Oh wouldn’t it be fun to have lunch at this place – and then completely forget about it. And sure enough I nearly instantaneously receive an email from a friend inviting me to lunch in that place. These heart moments take my intellect by surprise and express what I really want in that very moment. It feels beautiful, innocent and easy.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be so present in each moment that I just utter a desire and it manifests. Of course it means that I really have to master my thoughts and emotions, otherwise I would have interesting experiences for sure.
My sense is that the more I keep consciously asking for what I really want the more I will encounter these moments. Practicing alignment, clarity, observing, detaching, and letting go, will speed up the receiving.